Johannes Schult

My approach to making music is somewhat reckless these days. I attempt to write one hour songs, i.e., tunes I write and record within 60 minutes. So far I’ve done six songs; the fifth one is actually featured in the previous update. Right now I’m just accumulating these one hour songs. Maybe I’ll release more of them in the future, maybe not.

The format forces me to write rather short songs, of course. Needless to say, I needed between two and three hours for the first bunch of songs, because I was too ambitious, i.e., got stuck with the lyrics or recorded, like, 30 different drum tracks. But I already find myself enjoying it, since I’m no longer obsessing over every little detail. My solo music isn’t that sophisticated, after all.

This little number was (obviously) inspired by LEN TV (and the madness that ensued). Please note that it is actually 25 seconds long. The song was written and recorded on Wednesday, 27th August 2008, while I was packing my suitcase. (Yep, I spent the last week in Bellingham, WA.) There’s drums, electric guitars, an acoustic guitar, a bass courtesy of my keyboard, and my obnoxious vocals on it. (I also tried it with ukulele only, but I don’t think that version is going to be released until someone compiles Jutze archive anthologies.)

Download the song: mp3 ogg (more music)

What’s the baby using?
What’s the baby using?
What’s the baby using?
It’s using 25.
It’s using 25.
It’s using 25.

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

This is another song about the moon. I decided to not submit it for the Song Fu #2 competition (see previous post), because at the end of the day it is merely a weak imitation of Jonathan Coulton. I really like the intro melody (originally from a tune called “Last Night I Was the Happiest Man on Earth”) and the story starts out in a nice way. But I was stuck for a couple of days and abandoned this song, eventually. I recorded it, anyway, together with the other song, “The Moon Is Made of Cheese”. First came the rhythm track and a whole bunch of keyboards. On the next day, I recorded some acoustic guitars and the vocals. I lacked the middle-eight lyrics, so I had to make them up on the spot. And I still don’t know how to spell the protagonist’s name properly.

Download the song: mp3 ogg (more music)

His name was Nicolaew
His friends just called him Nick
His boss said, boy, you’re gonna get far

And he put him into a space ship
And when the countdown began
Everybody had tears in their eyes

His mission was important
His body bent like a spoon
His destination was the moon

And the earth outside his window looks to small
And the stars, they shine like silver in the night
And he knows his journey will be over soon
Then Nicolaew’s gonna be the first monkey on the moon

His vessel hit the surface
His engine died for good
His crew on earth did what they could

And the earth outside his window looks to small
And the stars, they shine like silver in the night
And he knows his mission will be over soon
And late at night he’s dreaming of the first monkey on the moon

And on the seventh day he ran out of food
And a little later it got colder in his room
Nicolaew looked around
But there were no bananas
No bananas on the moon

And as he ran out of water
He heard a knock on the door
The rescue mission from the planet of apes had come to take him back home

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

This is my entry for the first round of the Song Fu #2 competition over at QuickstopEntertainment.com. It’s 100% werewolf-free, which is kind of remarkable, because the task was to write a song about the moon. Please visit the link above and check out the competition; vote for whoever you think deserves it most – hopefully for me. Note that there are Song Fu Challengers (including me) and Song Fu Masters; you may vote once in each group.

My friend Robert made a post in the NP.de-forum back in 2002, stating that the moon was made of cheese. I had always wanted to turn this idea into a song, so now was the perfect opportunity. I toyed around with some other ideas (some involving werewolves) and I even made a song called The First Monkey on the Moon; but the narrative of that song lacked an adequate flow; plus, the story was (apparently) a lame imitation of (Song Fu Master) Jonathan Coulton. I’ll post that one in the near future, anyway. But back to my actual entry: I recorded it last Tuesday and Wednesday. First came the rhythm track and a whole bunch of keyboard sounds. Next, I recorded some rather heavy electric guitars. That was possibly a mistake, but the deadline was on Wednesday. So I just added some acoustic guitar and, of course, the vocals, before I mixed and posted the song. I’m aware that the vocals are very loud. I made that decision, because the lyrics are an integral part of the challenge. They’re posted below; the Dogma reference was in there early on (as I’m a big fan of former QuickstopClerk Kevin Smith), whereas the Coulton reference came at the eleventh hour. Oh, and I added some handclaps! No ukulele, sorry. But hey, if I manage to move on to round two (i.e., if you all vote for me), I might use it, eventually.

Download the song: mp3 ogg (more music)

Aliens in Nevada, magic crystal balls
Superstitious cargo cults, creepy voodoo dolls
Friday, the 13th, absolution of sins
Some believe that science holds an answer to everything

Some believe in fate and some in love
And some believe in God above
Some believe in cover-up conspiracies
And I believe that the moon is made of cheese
There’s no doubt, no doubt, no doubt about it
There’s no doubt, no doubt, no doubt at all

Flying Spaghetti Monsters, a talisman as guide
Santa Claus and horoscopes, love at first sight
Nessie in the water, Catholicism Wow!
Some believe that mankind will survive this all somehow

Some believe in blue and some in red
And there are some who believe that Paul is dead
Some believe they know who killed the Kennedys
And I, I believe that the moon is made of cheese
There’s no doubt, no doubt, no doubt about it
There’s no doubt, no doubt, no doubt at all
There’s no doubt, no doubt, no doubt about it
There’s no doubt, no doubt, no doubt at all
No doubt, no doubt, no doubt about it
There’s no doubt, no doubt: the moon is made of cheese

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

These days I’m wrapping up my work for the Master of Quantitative Analysis in the Social Sciences degree. I’ve begun applying for jobs (as data analyst) in order to manage a swift transition from university to work.

Apart from writing exams, I’ve been travelling quite a bit in the past few months (and now I struggle to catch up with archiving pictures and reports). Now I’m back in Germany and have all my instruments at hand. So stay tuned for some new music (hint).

In meiner Kindheit schaute ich begeistert Wetten daß… und auch allerlei andere Fernsehshows. Seit geraumer Zeit (sprich vielen Jahren) habe ich keinen Fernseher mehr, was mich angesichts der nachlassenden Qualität des Programmangebots nicht in eine Sinnkrise stürzt. Es gibt allerdings noch eine Sendung, die sich wohltuend vom Rest abhebt, indem sie witzig, aber kaum platt, kompakt, aber nicht hektisch, abwechslungsreich, aber nicht chaotisch ist: Sag die Wahrheit (montags, 22 Uhr, SWR). Das Konzept ist nicht bahnbrechend, aber die Be- und die Umsetzung sind äußerst gelungen. Zudem ist die Sendung bestens geeignet, um sie zusammen mit anderen Leuten (z.B. solchen, die einen Fernseher haben) anzuschauen, mit denen man dann selbst diskutieren kann.

This is me trying to translate the genius of Jonathan Coulton into my small German world – and failing. The facts: Code Monkey is the original song/title. The instruments on my version are drums, acoustic guitars, glockenspiel, keyboards (bass and organ), and ukulele. The recordings took place on 2nd July 2008. I made this demo after a six month hiatus of recording/playing and I’m afraid it shows. Therefore, this should not be regarded as the definitive version, but rather as a rough outline, a vague idea, a nice song if I could actually sing, etc.

Download the song: mp3 ogg (more music)

Rechenaffe steht auf, trinkt Kaffee; Rechenaffe im Büro.
Rechenaffe hat blödes Meeting mit blödem Teamchef Joe.
Joe sagt: Rechenaffe ist fleißig mit hohem IQ,
Doch seine Syntax nicht so elegant – was sagt Rechenaffe dazu?
Rechenaffe denkt: Teamchef soll doch selber die verdammten Daten analysieren.
Rechenaffe schweigt recht bedrückt.
Rechenaffe nur stolz, nicht verrückt.
Rechenaffe mag Pizza.
Rechenaffe mag Leitungswasser pur.
Rechenaffe ein sehr einfacher Mann mit großem heimlichem Herz.
Rechenaffe wie du. Rechenaffe wie du.

Rechenaffe hängt beim Empfang rum, sagt dir, Bluse ist schick.
Rechenaffe kauft dir Limonade, bringt dir Eiswürfel mit.
Du sagst: Nein, danke für das Angebot. Limonade macht dick.
Übrigens du bist gerade am Telefon: keine Zeit für mich.
Rechenaffe hat langen Weg zum Schreibtisch zurück, nimmt Platz und surft im Netz.
Rechenaffe sucht nach seinem Mut.
Rechenaffe fühlt sich nicht so gut.
Rechenaffe mag Pizza.
Rechenaffe mag Leitungswasser pur.
Rechenaffe ein sehr einfacher Mann mit großem heimlichem Herz.
Rechenaffe wie du.

Rechenaffe hat viele Gründe von hier abzuhauen.
Rechenaffe geht nur zur Arbeit, um dein Gesicht zu schauen.
Viel lieber aufwachen und baden gehen, dann drei Kugeln Eis.
Der Job “befriedigend und kreativ” – was für ein Scheiß!
Rechenaffe denkt, eines Tages hat er alles, selbst hübsche Frau wie dich.
Rechenaffe weiß, bald fängt er an.
Rechenaffe sagt: Irgendwie und –wann.
Rechenaffe mag Pizza.
Rechenaffe mag Leitungswasser pur.
Rechenaffe ein sehr einfacher Mann mit großem heimlichem Herz.
Rechenaffe wie du. Rechenaffe wie du.

(words and music by Jonathan Coulton; German lyrics by Johannes Schult)

Brian V wrote:

You know, I thought that I could listen to this song at work.

I thought I had the self control to enjoy any Jonathan Coulton song in the style of Paul and Storm with dignity, poise and silence.

I was horribly mistaken.

He is, of course, referring to Jonathan Coulton’s entry for Song Fu Round 2; and his words capture the essence of it all perfectly. So no need for me to explain to you the greatness and grace of this incredible piece of (f)art.

Last Saturday I saw Jonathan Coulton live at the Highline Ballroom. The concert was awesome! There were a lot of unknowns for me before the show, but pretty much all my expectations were easily surpassed. The setlist speaks for itself, I guess. The first three songs paved the way for many more cool pop songs. I think the audience was as attentive as it was enthusiastic. The folks on stage (JoCo and at times Paul and Storm, Kristen Shirts and her Ukulele Army) apparently had fun and all was good. A more detailed report in German is online at Vampster.com. Thanks to Mitch for taking the picture below!

1. The Future Soon
2. Ikea
3. Shop Vac
4. Flickr
5. Tom Cruise Crazy
6. Soft Rocked by Me
7. Birdhouse in Your Soul
8. Code Monkey
9. My Monkey
10. Creepy Doll
11. I Feel Fantastic
12. Mr. Fancy Pants
13. I Crush Everything
14. Skullcrusher Mountain
15. Still Alive
16. You Ruined Everything
17. Re: Your Brains
18. First of May
19. Sweet Caroline
20. Mandelbrot Set
21. Welcome to the Machine
22. Curl
23. A Talk with George

Wenn man dieser Tage nicht aufpasst, wird man rücksichtslos von Fußball-Nachrichten erschlagen. Erschreckend finde ich dabei immer wieder die unglaubliche Inhaltslosigkeit. Gerade eben erst bin ich auf Tagesschau.de über folgende Aussage gestolpert:

Polen will bei seiner EM-Premiere für eine Überraschung sorgen.

Im Zusammenhang ist damit natürlich der Siegeswille der Mannschaft gemeint. Für sich genommen ist der Satz aber viel unterhaltsamer. Zumindest male ich mir gerade allerlei Ãœberraschungen aus. Natürlich wird es keine Ãœberraschungen geben, nur ganz viel Blabla danach – und hier oder da Jubel. Oder nur Blabla, wenn es 0:0 ausgeht. Zum Glück bin ich die meiste Zeit über im nicht-EM-Ausland und bekomme das alles – einschließlich der drögen Berichterstattung – nur am Rande mit.

Ich lese lieber die Meldungen über die sich abzeichnenden Konsequenzen der Ölabhängigkeit der Industrienationen, deren Regierungen und Bevölkerungen immer noch nicht einen Weg weg vom Öl eingeschlagen haben. Solche Nachrichten machen mich zwar nicht fröhlich, geben mir aber zumindest das befriedigende Gefühl, Recht zu behalten.