Johannes Schult

This is me trying to translate the genius of Jonathan Coulton into my small German world – and failing. The facts: Code Monkey is the original song/title. The instruments on my version are drums, acoustic guitars, glockenspiel, keyboards (bass and organ), and ukulele. The recordings took place on 2nd July 2008. I made this demo after a six month hiatus of recording/playing and I’m afraid it shows. Therefore, this should not be regarded as the definitive version, but rather as a rough outline, a vague idea, a nice song if I could actually sing, etc.

Download the song: mp3 ogg (more music)

Rechenaffe steht auf, trinkt Kaffee; Rechenaffe im Büro.
Rechenaffe hat blödes Meeting mit blödem Teamchef Joe.
Joe sagt: Rechenaffe ist fleißig mit hohem IQ,
Doch seine Syntax nicht so elegant – was sagt Rechenaffe dazu?
Rechenaffe denkt: Teamchef soll doch selber die verdammten Daten analysieren.
Rechenaffe schweigt recht bedrückt.
Rechenaffe nur stolz, nicht verrückt.
Rechenaffe mag Pizza.
Rechenaffe mag Leitungswasser pur.
Rechenaffe ein sehr einfacher Mann mit großem heimlichem Herz.
Rechenaffe wie du. Rechenaffe wie du.

Rechenaffe hängt beim Empfang rum, sagt dir, Bluse ist schick.
Rechenaffe kauft dir Limonade, bringt dir Eiswürfel mit.
Du sagst: Nein, danke für das Angebot. Limonade macht dick.
Übrigens du bist gerade am Telefon: keine Zeit für mich.
Rechenaffe hat langen Weg zum Schreibtisch zurück, nimmt Platz und surft im Netz.
Rechenaffe sucht nach seinem Mut.
Rechenaffe fühlt sich nicht so gut.
Rechenaffe mag Pizza.
Rechenaffe mag Leitungswasser pur.
Rechenaffe ein sehr einfacher Mann mit großem heimlichem Herz.
Rechenaffe wie du.

Rechenaffe hat viele Gründe von hier abzuhauen.
Rechenaffe geht nur zur Arbeit, um dein Gesicht zu schauen.
Viel lieber aufwachen und baden gehen, dann drei Kugeln Eis.
Der Job “befriedigend und kreativ” – was für ein Scheiß!
Rechenaffe denkt, eines Tages hat er alles, selbst hübsche Frau wie dich.
Rechenaffe weiß, bald fängt er an.
Rechenaffe sagt: Irgendwie und –wann.
Rechenaffe mag Pizza.
Rechenaffe mag Leitungswasser pur.
Rechenaffe ein sehr einfacher Mann mit großem heimlichem Herz.
Rechenaffe wie du. Rechenaffe wie du.

(words and music by Jonathan Coulton; German lyrics by Johannes Schult)

Brian V wrote:

You know, I thought that I could listen to this song at work.

I thought I had the self control to enjoy any Jonathan Coulton song in the style of Paul and Storm with dignity, poise and silence.

I was horribly mistaken.

He is, of course, referring to Jonathan Coulton’s entry for Song Fu Round 2; and his words capture the essence of it all perfectly. So no need for me to explain to you the greatness and grace of this incredible piece of (f)art.

Last Saturday I saw Jonathan Coulton live at the Highline Ballroom. The concert was awesome! There were a lot of unknowns for me before the show, but pretty much all my expectations were easily surpassed. The setlist speaks for itself, I guess. The first three songs paved the way for many more cool pop songs. I think the audience was as attentive as it was enthusiastic. The folks on stage (JoCo and at times Paul and Storm, Kristen Shirts and her Ukulele Army) apparently had fun and all was good. A more detailed report in German is online at Vampster.com. Thanks to Mitch for taking the picture below!

1. The Future Soon
2. Ikea
3. Shop Vac
4. Flickr
5. Tom Cruise Crazy
6. Soft Rocked by Me
7. Birdhouse in Your Soul
8. Code Monkey
9. My Monkey
10. Creepy Doll
11. I Feel Fantastic
12. Mr. Fancy Pants
13. I Crush Everything
14. Skullcrusher Mountain
15. Still Alive
16. You Ruined Everything
17. Re: Your Brains
18. First of May
19. Sweet Caroline
20. Mandelbrot Set
21. Welcome to the Machine
22. Curl
23. A Talk with George

Wenn man dieser Tage nicht aufpasst, wird man rücksichtslos von Fußball-Nachrichten erschlagen. Erschreckend finde ich dabei immer wieder die unglaubliche Inhaltslosigkeit. Gerade eben erst bin ich auf Tagesschau.de über folgende Aussage gestolpert:

Polen will bei seiner EM-Premiere für eine Überraschung sorgen.

Im Zusammenhang ist damit natürlich der Siegeswille der Mannschaft gemeint. Für sich genommen ist der Satz aber viel unterhaltsamer. Zumindest male ich mir gerade allerlei Ãœberraschungen aus. Natürlich wird es keine Ãœberraschungen geben, nur ganz viel Blabla danach – und hier oder da Jubel. Oder nur Blabla, wenn es 0:0 ausgeht. Zum Glück bin ich die meiste Zeit über im nicht-EM-Ausland und bekomme das alles – einschließlich der drögen Berichterstattung – nur am Rande mit.

Ich lese lieber die Meldungen über die sich abzeichnenden Konsequenzen der Ölabhängigkeit der Industrienationen, deren Regierungen und Bevölkerungen immer noch nicht einen Weg weg vom Öl eingeschlagen haben. Solche Nachrichten machen mich zwar nicht fröhlich, geben mir aber zumindest das befriedigende Gefühl, Recht zu behalten.

If someone paid me for doing the research, I’d like to investigate factors that distinguish movies I like watching once and movies I like watching on a daily base. Sure, I’m exaggerating. Most interesting movies (the former kind) are still entertaining the second time around; also, most of my favourite movies lose a bit of their fascination after three weeks of non-stop watching. Still, they usually regain it after a short break and soon their lines make it into my vocabulary.

The latest addition to the latter group of movies is D.E.B.S. The movie has its flaws, no doubt about it. Some scenes are way too long, whereas others pass by much to quickly. I’d also have liked to see a grander introduction of the D.E.B.S. folks, for example a successful mission that shows their chemistry and strength. I could go on and on, but the truth is: I love this film! Of course, this has nothing to do with Jordana Brewster’s stunning beauty or Sara Foster’s skirt. I mean, there’s more to the movie than the visual aspect. The setting is hilarious and the story fresh. The look is cool and the music video moment before the finale is just soooo great. Mind you, I’ve never been a fan of Erasure. Thank you Angela Robinson. Two thumbs up!

The focus of this post is on Christianity and the situation in Europe. It can possibly be extended, but I’m no expert, anyway. The central point I’d like to express is that I’m wondering, why the Christians don’t build big, fancy churches like they used to. Given today’s possibilities in structural engineering and architecture combined with the knowledge about history it should be a piece of cake to build a second Kölner Dom. There are so many things that would make the endeavor so much more feasible than hundreds of years ago.

Sure, it’s not going to be cheap; nor easy. But on the other hand: if a grand, old church is a sign of admiration of God, then there is not much of this admiration left in today’s bishops. Also, maintaining the old buildings is a challenge that would become even more difficult if new old-fashioned churches were built right now. I assume, those buildings are nightmares in terms of energy-efficiency, but I don’t know for sure. Still, from a theological point of view, this shouldn’t matter. What are scientific findings compared to the power of God, anyway? He would take care of the climate if we just started building majestic churches again.

The bottom line is the surprise that the Christian church seems to be more progressive than might be expected from its cruel, dark scriptures. But I still have the feeling that Christianity without new “old school” church buildings is only a shadow of its former grandeur.

This song was originally written for my “Beck Strikes the Empire” demo tape back in 2000. From Thy Ashes had released “Harbinger” earlier that year. My friend Neil created the layout of that cd. For the initial draft versions he made up a bunch of bogus song titles. “Hugging Frogs” was one of them. I loved it immediately. Both, the lyrics and the music were created in almost no time. I forced everything into a 5/4 measure to make up for the lack of originality. I decided to re-record the entire song last year in a more focused fashion. So on the 26th September 2007 I locked myself in the rehearsal room commenced recording the drums (using a different microphone than usual, hence the different sound). Everything went smoothly until I realized that I had skipped an entire verse. By then a whole lot of guitars (including electric ones) had been recorded, so I decided to shorten the lyrics instead. Eventually, I added some keyboards and a bunch of layered vocals. I’m aware that one of my fans prefers the original version, but I think that the new recording fits the “Heteroscedasticity” record better. (Edit September 2008: I’m no longer sure if I’m going to include it on the album.)

Download the song: mp3 ogg (more music)

Hugging frogs don’t care
Hugging frogs are there
Hugging frogs won’t stare at your face, but they
Want to change the weather
Want to wear black leather
Want a velvet feather
Want to live forever

Hugging frogs don’t fly
Hugging frogs don’t cry
Hugging frogs will die under your tire, but they
Want to change the weather
Want to wear black leather
Want a velvet feather
Want to live forever

Hugging frogs play fair
Hugging frogs breath air
Hugging frogs won’t stare at your face, but they
Want to change the weather
Want to wear black leather
Want a velvet feather
Want to live forever
Want to change the weather
Want to wear black leather
Want a velvet feather
Want to live forever

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

Not only is Richard Shindell a fantastic songwriter and a great singer. He also made a nice move recently, when he decided to finance his new record with a little help (i.e., money) from his fans. I like the wit with which he approached the issue and wait with anticipation for the album to be made. After all, the first four new songs I’ve heard so far sound very promising.

This song was created in anticipation of Natalie Portman’s 24th birthday. There is no use denying that, although the lyrics remained vague enough to work without that context. I wanted the music to sound like the Shins, a band that was prominently featured in the movie Garden State. Unfortunately, I lacked the proper means and ended up with the present recording. I consider it flawed (just listen to the backing vocals in the brackets), but I don’t think I could have recorded it any better. The chord structure of the verse and of the chorus are somewhat similar to those of the Manticess songs “Child of the Sea” and “Wings of Fire”, respectively; yet another reason not to make this one an album track. But yeah, I actually listen to it quite often, possibly because I’m still amazed by my (rather hidden) falsetto voice during the intro melody which I thought would never survive the mix. Keyboards and acoustic guitars were recorded on 8th June 2005. Vocals and some tasteful glockenspiel were added one day later – on Natalie Portman’s 24th birthday!

Download the song: mp3 ogg (more music)

Someone said today is your 24th birthday
I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do
Until now it has been just an ordinary Thursday
But now every thought keeps leading back to you
I feel you in my mind
I’m still not over you
Can’t leave it all behind
I’m still not over you

In the city everything reminds of your smile
(How it all began)
I only hope tomorrow I’ll be futurebound
(Happy once again)
You were like a seagull in the cloudless sky
(Heading for the sun)
I, on the hand, was turtle on the ground
You were one of a kind
I’m still not over you
Can’t leave it all behind
I’m still not over you

Still not over you
Can’t leave it all behind
I’m still not over you
Can’t get you off my mind
I’m still not over you
Can’t leave it all behind
I’m still not over you

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

Hier ist eine relativ spontane Top5-Liste meiner Lieblingsalbumcover:

1. Blind Guardian: Somewhere Far Beyond
2. Änglagård: Epilog
3. The Tannahill Weavers: Are Ye Sleeping Maggie
4. Iron Maiden: Somewhere in Time
5. Deep Purple: In Rock