This one started out with the lyrics. The idea took form while I read books by Schleichert, Dawkins etc. I wrote the lyrics during a Saturday morning class in Brussels in March 2008 after three hours sleep. The music took shape much later (when I was back in Germany) and I finally recorded it all in early August that year. There’s drums, guitars (acoustic ones for the refrain, electric ones for the rest), keyboards (organ, synth, bass, piano, and the drums in the refrain), vocals, a shaker, and some noises from my record player.
Noah built a mighty ark – therefore God exists
The day is bright, the night is dark – therefore God exists
Politicians never lie – therefore God exists
Life is just and pigs can fly – therefore God exists
Jesus made the blind man see – therefore God exists
They play my song on the MTV – therefore God exists
There is a chip inside my brain – therefore God exists
One day I’ll meet Shania Twain – therefore God exists If God was one of us I would call him Stephen
If God was one of us I would look her in the eye
The Bible says the earth is flat – therefore God exists
It takes one step to cross a gap – therefore God exists
A madman shot John Lennon dead – therefore God exists
I just want Beck in your head – therefore God exists If God was one of us I would call him Stephen
If God was one of us I would look her in the eye
3.14159 – therefore God exists
A quota sample will do fine – therefore God exists
My favourite drinks are cherry smoothies – therefore God exists
Michael Bay makes brilliant movies – therefore God exists
Piper Perabo cut her hair – therefore God exists
May I sit into your chair?
From the vaults of the net: these are the top 106 books most often marked as “unread” by LibraryThing’s users. As in, they sit on the shelf to make you look smart or well-rounded. Bold the ones you’ve read, underline the ones you read for school, italicize the ones you started but didn’t finish.
Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi : a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Ulysses
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
A Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler’s Wife
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
No reaction from Paul and Storm so far. Of course, I could just write @paulandstorm on Twitter; or send in half a picture of me as a minion. But if it were that easy, it’d be called Felicia Day Watch. So I’ll stay below the radar for some more time.
What a self-referential post so far! Where’s the bashing? Where’s the praise? This week’s 5-10 podcast was quite good: Naturally, they overdid the duel stuff. Still, Albert Einstein with a flame thrower was funny. Note that I do not link to the podcast itself. That would be too obvious in these days of trackbacks and Google Analytics. I have the feeling that the dynamic duo will refrain from acknoledging me, once they stumble upon this page, just to see what I’m going to say about Poochie, eh, Paul and Storm. Next week I’ll start with the story of how I discovered their music even before I heard of Jonathan Coulton.
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14 wonderful songs about life, love, Michael Owen, God, and statistics
NEW ALBUM OUT NOW! Featuring Graveyard Girl (the ultimate anthem of tombstone tourism), Judy Mary Jane (makes you inevitably shout out yeehaw!), I Wish Natalie Portman Was My Neighbour (don’t we all?), and the Toilet Song (recorded in the bathroom)!
So this is my album. I hope you like it. There a bunch of older, somewhat popular songs, some with electric guitars (7.-9.), two German ones, and a few with a more gloomy atmosphere towards the end. my personal favourite (song, not actress) is “Among Thieves”, an unusual song in several aspects (length, lyrics, brushes). If you consider burning the album on CD, I recommend downloading/using the flac-version, because it’s a lossless format (info) and offers additional entertainment.
All songs are licensed Creative Commons by-nc, meaning you are free to copy it, perform it, and make derivative works, as long as you are not making a profit from your work, and that you properly attribute the original artist (in this case Jutze, Johannes Schult, or www.jutze.com). So feel free to share them with your friends and family, play them in your podcast, and use them for your own personal creative endeavours!
Writing a fan song like this without being creepy is somewhat difficult. I think I managed to avoid the worst. I recorded the song on July 23rd, 2003. Building on a rhythm machine track I added acoustic guitars and some other instruments like melodica and glockenspiel, plus the vocals. Although it’s far from perfect, it still conveys a certain atmosphere. I tried re-recording the song in January 2008, but the feeling was gone. So I stuck with the original version, which DAZZA/NataliePortman.com called “highlight of the day/week/month” back in July 2003.
We could talk about the weather
We could drive to work together
I could feed her dog and maybe
Take it for a walk I wish Natalie Portman was my neighbour
We could have lunch together
I wish Natalie Portman was my neighbour
I’d live there forever
I could watch her every morning
When I wake tired and yawning
She could take the garbage out
And she could mow the lawn I wish Natalie Portman was my neighbour
We could have lunch together
I wish Natalie Portman was my neighbour
I’d live there forever
I wish Natalie Portman was my neighbour
We could have lunch together
I wish Natalie Portman was my neighbour
I’d live there forever
I wish Natalie Portman was my neighbour
I would always be with her
I wish Natalie Portman was my neighbour
I’d live there forever
I wish Natalie Portman was my neighbour
We could have lunch together
I wish Natalie Portman was my neighbour
(words and music by Johannes Schult)
Category: Heteroscedasticity |
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My new solo album Heteroscedasticity will be out on Sunday, 19th October 2008 – only two days from now! I locked myself in the bathroom and played some of my songs to celebrate the album release. The second out of four parts is now online: Toilet Session 2008 (part 2). It shows me playing Not About You and the Toilet Song – and stummering as I introduce the songs.
This one started out as a joke. I just wanted to record in a bathroom; great acoustics, you know. September 1st, 2000 saw me visiting a good friend of mine. Armed with my four track machine, guitar and keyboard I installed myself in his bathroom. Writing the song was easy, recording it wasn’t. The vocals took me forever (two hours) and as you can hear they still suck. But people responded to the song. It even helped me seeing Natalie Portman and meeting another great person who shall remain unnamed.
I pulled out the master tape and remixed it for the Heteroscedasticity album. I don’t think I harmed the song’s integrity. It just sounds a little bit cleaner and less distorted, I guess. You see, I still don’t know much about recording technology, and the tape speed kept varying, so I had to mix all four channels on the fly. Who needs hard disc recording, anyway?
Now I’m here alone cos you’re not at my side
You know it’s easier to hide
Away than look it in the eye
In my heart I start to cry Now I’m here and I’m sitting on the toilet
Now I’m here and I’m lonely to the bone
Now I’m here and I’m singing on the toilet
Now I’m here all alone
It’s so hard to tell the truth cos I don’t know
What’s on you mind; what if I show
You what I feel inside my heart?
Will you be mine or torn apart? Now I’m here and I’m sitting on the toilet
Now I’m here and I’m lonely to the bone
Now I’m here and I’m singing on the toilet
Now I’m here all alone
Show me what you feel Still I’m here and I’m sitting on the toilet
Now I’m here and I’m lonely to the bone
Still I’m here and I’m singing on the toilet
Still I’m here all alone all on my own
So I sang “I would give 12$ to sing a song with Paul and Storm.” And I mean it. Sure, I don’t expect them to accept this offer. They have to make a living; they have families; they’re busy stalking Joss Whedan, anyway. In other words, I am to them what they are to Paul McCartney. Still, with fervent dedication and an iron will I might at least achieve a little recognition from the dynamic duo itself (themselves?).
Until they decide to oblige this humble request I will keep “Paul and Storm Watch” (every Wednesday). When they called for minions I was tempted to join the mob; picture me in front of a pale wall with a hand-written sing in my hand that says “Hostage Minion of Paul and Storm since \today.” But I don’t want them to indulge in pictures of people with too much time on their hands. I want them to work; I want them to sing; I want them to be mischievous. I gladly paid to download their albums, but I see no reason to make podcast-related donation. For the time being, my attention has to suffice as consideration. I mean, I still think they (Paul) should at least have made a clever, witty song when they tried to get Felicia Day‘s attention. They could have even offered to give her 12$ to sing a song with them. But they just talked – and Jonathan Coulton had her sing with him on stage.
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My new solo album “Heteroscedasticity†will be out on Sunday, 19th October 2008 – only four days from now! I locked myself in the bathroom and played some of my songs to celebrate the album release. The third out of four parts is now online: Toilet Session 2008 (part 3). It shows me playing “If I Could Paint My Feelings” (see previous update) and “Cropcutter” (a non-album track). No ukulele, this time; have fun, anyway!
Category: Heteroscedasticity |
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