Johannes Schult

This song was born during a break at a parking place by the highway on 18th March 2005. The first verse is pretty close to what happened; the rest is fiction. You don’t walk up to strangers, let alone dance up to them, right? The song became part of a 9-minute rock opera I wrote eleven days later. I considered “Now or Never” for my solo album “Heteroscedasticity”, but the context (i.e., the ending of the story) is somewhat missing. Well, here it is, anyway, because I like it and I relate it to two things:

1. number plates. I remembered the car’s number plate (whose letters were an anagram of the German word for heart, ‘Herz’) and dedicated the opera to its driver. I really wish there was a social network based on number plates. There’s sites where you can rate your teachers (at least in Germany), why not have the same thing with cars? Of course, the potential for abuse is enormous, virtual road rage inevitable. But sometimes I find myself attracted by cute drivers, by friendly people and also by good music coming from the car stereo. Such a rating portal would finally settle the misconception that every considers themselves above average drivers.
2. moving. The only other thing I remember from back then is that she was apparently moving, or at least transporting quite a lot of cargo. Incidently, I recorded “Now or Never” while I was moving myself. Drums were recorded in Waiblingen-Beinstein on 30th March 2005. Guitars, keyboards, melodica and vocals were recorded in Konstanz-Wallhausen on 10th April 2005. Now I’ll be moving once again next week.

Play: | Download “Now or Never”: mp3 ogg (more music)

She stood next to her car
She wasn’t all that far
All that far away from me
She had her radio on
Playin’ a Nightwish-song
And in a flash of audacity
I walked into her direction
And started to dance along
Even though I cannot dance at all

She waved and said “Hello.”
I asked her “Where do you go?”
She said “I follow you after.”
I told her “You look fine,
But I won’t steal your time,
Just wanna hear your laughter.”
She smiled at me and said
“Would you like some tea?
I’m sorry but that’s all I have left.”

Then she gave me her cup
And a friendly hug
I felt like now or never
So I took her hand
“I wanna see you again,
The sooner the better.”
She looked me in the eye
And said “Let’s meet tonight.”
“Just name the time and place and I’ll be there.”

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

Ich fange schon mal mit sparen an. Denn Ende Oktober erscheinen

• “Digital Ghosts” von Shadow Gallery, das erste Album nach dem Tod von Mike Baker,
• “The Whirlwind” von Transatlantic, bei dem ich als einziges keine große Erwartungen habe, obwohl zumindest ein ordentliches Album rausspringen dürfte (gerne lasse ich mich positiv überraschen),
• “Gessle Over Europe”, Rundum-Sorglos-Live-Mitschnitt inklusive sechs Songs aus Köln
• und dann kommen wohl Trans-Siberian Orchestra endlich mit ihrem seit Ewigkeiten angekündigten Doppelalbum “Night Castle” zu Potte.

Dies ist kein Lied über Jack Bauer. Es ist auch kein Lied über Alkohol. Es ist ein Lied, in dem es irgendwie um die individuelle Verantwortung für das eigene Leben geht. Es wird wohl meine letzte Aufnahme in Trier sein. Nicht zuletzt weil es schon spät war, hatte ich vor, das Lied in einer Stunde zu schreiben und aufzunehmen (One Hour Song). Am Ende habe ich zwei Stunden gebraucht. Dabei ist der Song sehr sparsam instrumentiert: Akustik-Gitarre, Klavier und Bass vom Keyboard sowie Gesang.

Download “Du musst dein Leben ändern”: mp3 (more music)

Die eine Stunde ist jetzt vorbei
Der Zweifel lacht und freut sich dabei
Die dreiste Kraft der Monotonie
Konserviert die Zeit, das Jetzt oder nie
Doch die Hoffnung bleibt
Ich habe noch immer die Wahl
Und ich bin bereit
So wie all die anderen Mal’

Die Fünfe gerade zu lassen ist leicht
Doch da ist ein Gefühl, das mich manchmal beschleicht
Ja, die Hoffnung bleibt
Ich habe noch immer die Wahl
So vergeht die Zeit
Vielleicht gibt es kein nächstes Mal

Ja, die Hoffnung bleibt
Ich habe noch immer die Wahl
Und ich bin bereit
Es ist mir noch nicht alles ganz egal

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

Maybe you already know it: I’m about to move back to Konstanz. Tomorrow will be the last day I’ll record music here in Trier. At least, that’s the plan. I’ll approach a wannabe-Nightwish song Susanne and I wrote during our last rehearsal, adding clavinet scales and double bass drums. I’ll also wrap the songs for the upcoming Manticess release (single, EP, whatever). I won’t be recording anything in October apart from stuff I can do outside my interim accommodation. It’s going to be headphones and mixing, instead. Finally, I should do something to bid this place farewell and to commemorate my time here. I created some of my favourite songs (e.g., A Mallful of Brains, Natalie Portman’s Doormat) at this place, after all.

Es gibt ein sehr lesenswertes Dossier zum Atommülllager Asse II in der Zeit. Die Zustände sind geradezu beängstigend und die politischen und behördlichen Vorgänge der letzten Jahrzehnte werfen kein gutes Licht auf alle Beteiligten. Beim Betrachten der aktuellen Handlungsoptionen läuft es mir kalt den Rücken runter. Atommüll ist schlichtweg nichts, was man einfach so unter den Teppich kehren sollte. Die schiere Menge, die bereits bis zum Einlagerungsstopp 1978 vergraben wurde, ist atemberaubend: über 125.000 Fässer! Mehr als genugend, um allen Leuten, die in Trier wohnen, eins zu geben. Am besten mit der Bitte um sichere Verwahrung für die nächsten paar Jahrhunderte. Oder besser gleich Jahrtausende. Viele, viele Jahrtausende.

Auch in Italien weiß man offensichtlich keine transparente, sichere Lagerungsmöglichkeiten. Laut Spiegel Online wurde (nicht näher spezifizierter) Atommüll via Mafia einfach im Mittelmeer versenkt. Na dann Prost Mahlzeit.

Das Problem der ungelösten Endlagerung wird mit jedem Tag, an dem weiterer Müll produziert wird, größer. Es gilt inzwischen nicht mehr nur, ein sicheres Endlager zu finden, sondern man muss tatsächlich ein großes sicheres Endlager finden. Für mich ist die einzige vernünftige Entscheidung, den Atomausstieg selber zu machen und bei der Bundestagswahl nicht die Parteien zu wählen, die auf Druck der Lobby der Atomstromkonzerne den Ausstieg in Deutschland hinauszögern wollen.

Um nicht völlig den Verstand und das Vertrauen in die Menschheit zu verlieren, halte ich es ansonsten mit den kleinen (zugegeben nicht immer günstigen) Freuden des Alltags:

• Heute gab es weißes Twix im Supermarkt!
• Seit gestern habe ich The Beatles in Mono – großes Ohrenkino!
• Heute kam per Post aus England die Snowdogs-Single “Radio Me” mit zwei Liedern auf der B-Seite, die ich noch nicht kannte; besonders “You know What I’m Sayin’?” rockt mächtig.
• Jonathan Coulton kommt im Herbst für einige Konzerte nach Europa, weshalb ich voller Vorfreude schon wieder Reisepläne schmiede.

In response to John Green’s offer to give away a copy of his latest book Paper Towns I wrote a song about me not having said book. Yet. I have his previous two books, though. If you haven’t heard of John Green, I suggest you check out An Abundance of Katherines. It features eloquent German insults, but is ultimately a young adult novel. With math.

Writing the lyrics to this song was fun, because I could arrange the actual books accordingly. Once I had recorded everything I made a little video to illustrate this process – and also to clarify what I’m actually singing about.

Download “I Have Many Books (But I Don’t Have Paper Towns Yet)”: mp3 (more music)

I have the best German fairytale, the best Scholastic book
I have comedies and screenplays that are really, really good
I have My Heart So White and a book about you
About the end of the world and about aliens, too
I have Looking for Alaska as you can see
An Abundance of Katherines belongs to me
I have many books from A to Z
But I must confess I don’t have Paper Towns, yet

I have books that sound dirty but are really all right
I have books that sound nerdy but are dirty inside
I have Reasons to Be Pretty, I have reasons to be smart
I have books about emotion but none about art
I have Looking for Alaska as you can see
An Abundance of Katherines belongs to me
I have many books some of which are red
But I must confess I don’t have Paper Towns, yet

I have The Devil’s Dictionary and books about Gods
The complete works of Shakespeare, a book about odds
I have books that are funny and some that are sad
Some are amazing and some are rather bad
I love Catching Fire; I wonder how it ends
I have The Elements of Style in your pants
I have Looking for Alaska as you can see
An Abundance of Katherines belongs to me
And for full disclosure I also have The Fountainhead
But as of now I don’t have Paper Towns, yet

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

Gibt es eigentlich auch eine Partei, die sich dafür einsetzt, dass Blind Guardian ab sofort wieder gute Musik schreiben und endlich mal eine informative Homepage mit übersichtlichem Layout bekommen?

Last Thursday, The Hooters played a very good show at the Batschkapp in Frankfurt, which was packed with about 600 people. I won’t bore you with the details. One thing that tends to get lost when writing lengthy accounts of shows like this is the passion and joy of the musicians. In the times of Oasis split-ups and law suits it’s easy to overlook bands like the Hooters who have little more to offer than superbly crafted music that comes from the heart. Even when they underscore the melancholy of Don Henley’s “Boys of Summer” with tasteful piano and mandolin playing, there is the omnipresent joy of being there, being alive, playing music to an excitable crowd, making a difference.

“Everybody Needs a Song” captured the latter notion perfectly. There were some Beatles vibes in that one. “One More River Left to Cross” had developed into a full-fledged Hooters-song since I first heard Eric Bazilian‘s demo. “Highway-Bound” was driven by a groovy shuffle-rhythm and a nice electric guitar/mandolin-texture. A new album is on the horizon, but no promises were made. (John Lilley is about to release his solo album next month, though.)

All in all, a splendid time was had by all!

1. I’m Alive
2. Time Stand Still
3. Day by Day
4. Fightin’ on the Same Side
5. Highway-Bound
6. The Boys of Summer
7. Johnny B
8. All You Zombies
9. Deliver Me
10. Private Emotion
11. Morning Buzz
12. Graveyard Waltz (slight return)
13. 500 Miles
14. One More River Left to Cross
15. Karla with a K
16. Twenty-Five Hours a Day
17. Satellite
18. And We Danced
19. One of Us
20. Where the Wind May Blow
21. Brother Don’t You Walk Away
22. Everybody Needs a Song
23. Free Again

Joel Johnson twittered: “Have an extra copy of @jonathancoulton‘s “Best. Concert. Ever.” CD & DVD. Will send to the person who records worst JoCo cover in 30 secnds.”

Now I don’t know who he is and I already have the live album he’s giving away. But the challenge sparked my interest. I soon decided to ruin everything by covering “You Ruined Everything”. Falsetto voice meets flutes. There you go.

But while I was setting up my recording gear, I realized that I could try to rush through “Big Dick Farts a Polka” easily. Three Chords, some melodica, a blistered thumb. I also wanted to do a black metal cover of “Skullcrusher Mountain”, but I figured there are already too many bad cover versions out there. Now, while listening to the songs below, please keep in mind that Jonathan Coulton is actually a very good artist; it’s me who ruins everything.

Download “Big Dick Farts a Polka”: mp3 (more music)

Download “I Ruined Everything”: mp3 (more music)

You should know how great things were before I
Came along, singing out of tune
Once this perfect song was gone I knew
I ruined everything in the worsest way

(original words and music by Jonathan Coulton, made worse by Johannes Schult)

This is a cover version of a Song Fu entry by the GöDZ PööDLZ. I recorded it rather quickly on my old four-track machine (June 26, 2009). There’s a drum track, two acoustic guitars and some vocals. Please check Song Fu #4 Round 3 for the original song. I re-arranged the song into something that fits my style, editing the lyrics and smoothing the harmonies. Thanks to the writers for letting me do this and share it here!

Download the song: mp3 (more music)

Bomb Squad Girl
We have less than a minute to fall in…
Bomb Squad Girl
My secret desire will never expire
Don’t cut the red wire! Don’t cut the red wire!

Why do I have to wait for a bomb scare to be near you?
The only time you leave the station is when there is a crisis
Bomb Squad Girl
We have less than a minute to fall in…
Bomb Squad Girl
My secret desire will never expire
Don’t cut the red wire! Don’t cut the red wire!

When I’m standing this close I don’t think you notice my heart is about to explode
When you’re so disarming how can I be charming?
So maybe you’ll never know
Never know

You’re da bomb squad…
You’re da bomb squad…
You’re da bomb squad…
You’re da
Bomb Squad Girl
We have less than a minute to fall in…
Bomb Squad Girl
My secret desire will never expire
Don’t cut the red wire! Don’t cut the red wire!

(words and music by Russ Rogers and Rod Durre)