Johannes Schult

This happens when I’m in the mood of writing a punk song about heavy metal. I tried several angles until I found that focusing on one year and leaving out band names actually works, sort of. The lyrics are not a comprehensive list of 1988 in metal (which was a good one if you ask me), but it covers my favourite albums along with a bunch of stuff that’s at least okay.

#19 1988

There was “No Place for Disgrace” and “Blessed Is the Black”
And the “Perfect Man” really didn’t sound too bad
“The Keeper of the Seven Keys” got a second part
And “Battalions of Fear” was a promising start
In 1988
In 1988

“No Exit” was ambiguous, but “Leprosy” was cool
With a heart of steel the “Kings of Metal” did rule
There was “The Morning After” in Germany
And a comeback in the States entitled “Thundersteel”
In 1988
In 1988

“Operation: Mindcrime” was deservedly a hit
“Irae Melanox” remained an insider tip
The keyboards of a “7th Son” reminded me of cheese
“Port Royal” was a masterpiece
In 1988
In 1988

(words and music by Johannes Schult 2015 Creative Commons by-nc 4.0)

It was Thursday, June 21st. I had arrived in Philadelphia coming from Zürich and drove south into the heat of Maryland (104° Fahrenheit). Not the most relaxing way to start one’s vacation but I didn’t want to miss the rare opportunity to see some one of the most underrated punk musicians coming out of retirement. After three hours of sleep in the hotel I got up and drove to the Ottobar. I got there half an hour before midnight local time. Mikey Erg was still on stage and sang some pop punk songs on his own with just an electric guitar (sounding excellent). His songs were pretty cool and he was obviously enjoying the gig. The audience – maybe 200 people – was in a good mood, too, albeit a bit exhausted, because the event (Insubordination Fest) was already rolling since 6 pm.

Dr. Frank hit the stage after a really quick change over. His backing band that night were the Mixtapes, who delivered a powerful, passionate performance. Dr. Frank himself wasn’t completely sober and kept on drinking throughout the show. I guess a proper punk rock concert was a nice change for him compared to his usual book reading events that take place during the day and have young adult readers in the audience. I had no idea what kind of setlist to expect. Needless to say I was thrilled when “Sackcloth and Ashes” was played as opener. A barrage of MTX classics followed (“Here She Comes”! “Semi-OK”! “I Love You, but You’re Standing on My Foot”!). I loved every minute of it! The 30-second song “Told You Once” (off the “Short Music for Short People” compilation) was played three times in a row before the other musicians left Dr. Frank alone on stage for a couple of softer songs (mainly about alcohol and romance).

The mood during this part of the show was especially relaxed. It was cool to see several other artists standing by the side of the stage and singing along every word by heart. After a formidable version of “Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend”, the House Boat guys joined Dr. Frank for a couple of songs. Finally, two of the best songs (“Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba” and “Dumb Little Band”) from the best MTX album “Love Is Dead” concluded the set and the audience went wild one last time. There were stagedivers and happy faces and all was good despite the Baltimore heat at 1 am.

I hesitate to lament the lack of public interest in the event. It was great to see this style of music played in such a small place. No way a stadium gig could feel as imminent. It all reminded me of the MTX concert I attended back in 2001 in Stuttgart, Germany. Maybe it’s even a good thing that shows like these have become scarce. We’re all getting older and punk rock nostalgia is one of the ugliest forms of nostalgia if you ask me. Still, on that sweaty Thursday night Love might have been dead, but Punk certainly wasn’t.

1. Sackcloth and Ashes
2. Last Time I Listened to You
3. Danny Partridge Got Busted
4. Here She Comes
5. She’s No Rocket Scientist
6. I Love You, but You’re Standing on My Foot
7. Semi-OK
8. I Wrote a Book About Rock and Roll
9. Told You Once
10. Told You Once
11. Told You Once
12. Now That You Are Gone
13. She Runs Out When the Money Does
14. Two Martinis From Now
15. Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend
16. Gilman Street
17. More Than Toast
18. Somebody Who Cares
19. Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba
20. Dumb Little Band
21. How’d the Date End?

PS: I’ll leave you with the wise words of Ben Weasel, who wrote on February 1st, 2004: In the meantime it’s worth the price of admission and then some to see [the Mr. T Experience] play. Whatever one of those American Pie bands might be worth, the MTX is worth double, and I’m being kind to the AP bands. Buy their CDs. See them play. Be one of those few people who vote with their dollars for substance over posturing; for quality over marketing magic. Because twenty-five years from now, do you really wanna be the person who decided to see Journey when you could’ve seen AC/DC with Bon Scott? Of course you don’t.

This is a song about F-sharp minor (as seen in Hank’s video around 2:25). If you don’t know who Hank Green is, check out his music at DFTBA Records.

“Hank Green Learned a New Chord” is yet another example for songs I hadn’t written without the 52-second constraint (and the need for brief song lyrics associated with it). Once again I had to record everything with my digicam, hence the bad sound. On the bright sight, you can watch me playing/recording the song.

#32 Hank Green Learned a New Chord

It was Wednesday the 21st
Hank played a tune on his guitar
There on the vlogbrothers channel
I almost couldn’t believe what I saw
It was like an epiphany
Though the part was rather short
It was plain for all to see
Hank Green learned a new chord

Until that day I had always thought
That Hank was a Horcrux of punk
A way to keep the lore of the three chord songs
Safe from boy-groups and funk
It was like an epiphany
Though the part was rather short
It was plain for all to see
Hank Green learned a new chord

Is he about to make the transition from wizard rock
To Slytherin Jazz for the Dark Lord?
Hank Green learned a new chord

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

This is the backup song I had kept in case I couldn’t come up with a new song one week. Sadly, the computer I use for recording my music died (after almost ten years of use). So here is “Badreligion”. I had written the lyrics back in the 90s for the punk band I was in at that time. I don’t know if we ever came up with any music back then. Then in 2008 I resurrected the lyrics and wrote a quick punk rock song around them. I recorded the song along with “ANOVA”, “Proof of God” and “My Next Favourite Actress” on 8th-9th August 2008. I had to cut of the first two counts at the beginning to make it 52 seconds long.

#28 Badreligion

Seife ist das Manna
Duschgel die Pastille
Seifenschaum die Bibel
Das ist Gottes Wille
Wir sind die Jünger der Badreligion
Das Freibad ist der Himmel und Neptun Gottes Sohn

Quellen sind wie Kirchen
Wüsten wie die Hölle
Baden ohne Ende
Das ist Gottes Wille
Wir sind die Jünger der Badreligion
Das Freibad ist der Himmel und Neptun Gottes Sohn
Wir sind die Jünger der Badreligion
Das Freibad ist der Himmel und Neptun Gottes Sohn

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

One of Sweden’s finest punk rock bands, Ninja Dolls, visited Konstanz on Thursday night. They played a tight, quick set featuring three songs off their new “D.I.Y.”-EP along with most of the songs from “1 2 3 Go!” (which was one of my favourite albums 2009). Malin’s voice showed a little strain towards the end of the set, but overall she proved to be an excellent lead singer who handled the old material with ease. As an encore we got a nice cover version of Dolly Parton’s “Jolene”. Other highlights were the acoustic version of “Valentine” and, well, pretty much every other song. I only missed “Run and Hide”. Still, it was an enjoyable show, albeit a rather short one. (Just observing, not complaining here – admission was free, after all.)

1. We Gave It All Away
2. Miss Young and Naive
3. You’re a Monster
4. All Mixed Up
5. Old Mariann
6. Don’t Wanna Go Home
7. Valentine (Is Just a Reason to Get Drunk)
8. Who Am I Fooling?
9. Harry’s Got to Go
10. Who’s Pretending
11. The Last Song About You (for This Time)
12. Jolene