Hank Green rocks, too

Hank Green is so much more suited for this world than I am. Not only are his entries for the current Song Fu challenge great. His recent plea for more vegetarianism is so eloquent and so appropriate that I have nothing of importance to add. He also mentions a Piper Perabo movie (not in a favorable way, but I’ve yet to see it, so I’ll remain silent for now) and advocates logarithmic age, which I think is a brilliant idea (though maybe I’m biased because as a statistician I already use way too many logarithms).

God of Bingo

Check out the second round of Song Fu 3 over at QuickstopEntertainment.com. The task was to write a song using exactly 10 different words in the lyrics. I came up with a fanboy song about Jimmi Simpson. It’s called “God of Bingo” and was obviously inspired by Jimmi’s role in D.E.B.S. If you loved the movie as much as I did (or just like little punk rock songs), please consider voting for me/my song.

Download the song: mp3 (more music)

Jimmi Simpson is awesome
Jimmi Simpson rocks
Jimmi is the God of bingo
Jimmi Simpson rocks

Jimmi Simpson is awesome
Jimmi Simpson rocks
Jimmi is the God of bingo – bingo
Jimmi Simpson rocks

Jimmi Simpson is God
Jimmi Simpson is God
Jimmi Simpson is God
Jimmi Simpson, Jimmi Simpson
Jimmi Simpson is God

Jimmi Simpson is awesome – awesome
Jimmi Simpson rocks – he rocks
Jimmi is the God of bingo – bingo
Jimmi Simpson rocks

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

Turning 10 Words into Songs

This entry refers to the current Song Fu round. Check out the next update for details (and the song I actually submitted).

When the challenge was posted last week, my first idea was to do a flower song that goes something like “she loves me, she loves me not”; repetitive, but believable. Soon enough I had a nice little song that was heavily influenced by Per Gessle. I turned the lyrics into a lament of one of the characters in Wet Hot American Summer, a very enjoyable movie I had just discovered via Riki Lindhome (of Garfunkel and Oates fame). I played the song to a couple of friends and the feedback was, well, not good. The song is utterly harmless, and someone complained that Andy is a really bad name for the hot guy.

Discarded Song #1: The Flower Song (Coop’s Lament)

I spent most of Sunday working on the flower song, but already felt that it lacks something. Then I came across the dulcimer sound on my keyboard. Next thing I know, I was singing a shanty about Captain Tikapakabi (or something like that). It was hardly original, but had more drive and avoided the x loves y pattern some other challengers have (possibly) used. I stayed up late recording a drunk seamen choir, making up the song structure on the fly. I revisited the recording on Tuesday, re-arranging it, dropping the second refrain, and re-working the lyrics to actually be 10 unique words.

Discarded Song #2: Captain Tinglebaraby

I still felt that the 10-word restriction limited the songs’ potential. I made a fresh start on Tuesday night. I had always wanted to write a song about Alice and Bob. Their conversations shouldn’t suffer from a shortage of words. Still, I wished had two or three more words to use. And a better singing voice. Not to mention the lack of a female singer for the last verse. I recorded a demo, anyway.

Discarded Song #3: Alice (demo)

I had planned to focus on Captain Tinglebaraby on Wednesday, but alas, I ended up penning a punk rock song about Jimmi Simpson. I figured that 10 words might be used in a straightforward way. Instead of creating love triangles (or love-octagons), I pay tribute to a great actor. At least some of the visitors of QuickstopEntertainment.com are movie buffs who possibly appreciate this. In the end, the choice was somewhat arbitrary, because each song has its short-comings.

I was very happy that so many people voted for A Mallful of Brains in the first round (landing me an 8th place, yay!). This time around, I’m still not expecting too high a position. But we’ll see/hear. Others have apparently struggled with their songs, as well.

I really like Hank Green‘s entry for this round; neat melody, good vocals, and many, many words! Funnily, Molly went Metal, an option I considered, too. (“Steel! Pain! Death! Glory! Power! Heart! Dragon! Honour! Battle! Metal!”) Other ideas I didn’t/couldn’t turn into proper songs: the first 30-something digits of pi, the algorithm of evolution, “if you take … and … you might just get …; take care of … and … and…” with sounds and noise for the dotted gaps, e.g., bean eating noise and soda drinking noise = fart noise.

In other news, the death metal songs I recorded with my brother and a ‘singer’ a while ago were mixed last week. They rock! More on that after the second round of Song Fu.

Jimmi Simpson rocks

Jimmi Simpson is my favourite actor. You may not have heard of him, but don’t let that fool you. He plays Scud in D.E.B.S., a movie you should all rent/buy, although many people will have difficulties connecting to it. But Jimmi rocks, no doubt about it. He’s the voice of reason, Cupid, the loyal friend, the God of bingo, the saviour of Australia, the winner of 50 bucks, the happy camper – all in one person (who isn’t even one of the lead characters).

He was in Loser, together with Thomas Sadoski and Zak Orth. All three of them went on to do great things afterwards. Orth did Wet Hot American Summer next (hilarious) and Thomas Sadoski recently starred in reasons to be pretty, where he delivered an amazing performance. Jimmi also turned to theatre, even dropping out of Live Free or Die Hard for this. I didn’t see him on stage and this entry is going nowhere and already too verbose.

I did see Jimmi in Girltrash. Once again, he delivered a spot on performance. He actually played the husband of Riki Lindhome‘s character in the series, closing the circle to the current Song Fu, in which Lindhome (as part of Garfunkel and Oates) competes as Master.

A Mallful of Brains

Check out the first round of Song Fu 3 over at QuickstopEntertainment.com! The task was to write a happy song. I came up with a song about a happy zombie. It’s called “A Mallful of Brains” and contains plenty of happiness (e.g., ukulele, brains). It’s the very last song on the page, so don’t despair while scrolling down. If you like zombies (or just like the song), please consider voting for me/my song.

Download the song: mp3 (more music)

Today on my way to work I met Sarah from next door
She drooled and took my hand and jerked me to the floor
I tried to get back up, still dizzy from the fall
Suddenly I felt hungry, so we headed for the mall
Because there is nothing like a mallful of brains
There is nothing like a mallful of brains

I looked across the street to the diner by the mall
A sign said ‘all you can eat,’ so I tried to eat them all
Later on my friend Mike came by to grab a drink
I took a little bite of him and then went to see my shrink
Because there is nothing like a mallful of brains
There is nothing like a mallful of brains

I really like to eat brains
I really like to eat brains
I really like to eat brains
I really like…
Brains, a mallful of brains
Brains, a mallful of brains
Brains, a mallful of brains
Brains, a mallful of brains

Mmh, eyeballs!

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

Title of the post

Self-absorbed triviality. Assessement of lack of content. Typographic erorr. Unexplainable urge to share my boredom with a virtual audience. Lame fart joke. Link to meme that is so last summer. Cryptic reference to the title of the post.

Verbose prelude to supposed highlight. Dream I had tonight involving two opposite bands and a bunch of people I haven’t seen in ages. Fill words. Hidden reference to actual event =-). Another cryptic reference to the title of the post.

(Inspired by “Title of the Song” by DaVinci’s Notebook)

This Year’s Last Post

The blogging well is running dry. Don’t expect any more updates this year. I’m going to be too busy to become a better person. Or at least a better version of me. I’ll be back as soon as I have found something to say. Meanwhile, have fun and be good!

World Toilet Day

Today is World Toilet Day! So why not check out (or revisit) my Toilet Song (recorded back in 2000, even before there was an annual World Toilet Day – so don’t accuse me of being trendy ;-).

Proof of God

This one started out with the lyrics. The idea took form while I read books by Schleichert, Dawkins etc. I wrote the lyrics during a Saturday morning class in Brussels in March 2008 after three hours sleep. The music took shape much later (when I was back in Germany) and I finally recorded it all in early August that year. There’s drums, guitars (acoustic ones for the refrain, electric ones for the rest), keyboards (organ, synth, bass, piano, and the drums in the refrain), vocals, a shaker, and some noises from my record player.

Download the song: mp3 ogg (more music)

Noah built a mighty ark – therefore God exists
The day is bright, the night is dark – therefore God exists
Politicians never lie – therefore God exists
Life is just and pigs can fly – therefore God exists
Jesus made the blind man see – therefore God exists
They play my song on the MTV – therefore God exists
There is a chip inside my brain – therefore God exists
One day I’ll meet Shania Twain – therefore God exists
If God was one of us I would call him Stephen
If God was one of us I would look her in the eye

The Bible says the earth is flat – therefore God exists
It takes one step to cross a gap – therefore God exists
A madman shot John Lennon dead – therefore God exists
I just want Beck in your head – therefore God exists
If God was one of us I would call him Stephen
If God was one of us I would look her in the eye

3.14159 – therefore God exists
A quota sample will do fine – therefore God exists
My favourite drinks are cherry smoothies – therefore God exists
Michael Bay makes brilliant movies – therefore God exists
Piper Perabo cut her hair – therefore God exists
May I sit into your chair?

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

List, Books, read, unread

From the vaults of the net: these are the top 106 books most often marked as “unread” by LibraryThing’s users. As in, they sit on the shelf to make you look smart or well-rounded. Bold the ones you’ve read, underline the ones you read for school, italicize the ones you started but didn’t finish.

  • Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
  • Anna Karenina
  • Crime and Punishment
  • Catch-22
  • One Hundred Years of Solitude
  • Wuthering Heights
  • The Silmarillion
  • Life of Pi : a novel
  • The Name of the Rose
  • Don Quixote
  • Moby Dick
  • Ulysses
  • Madame Bovary
  • The Odyssey
  • Pride and Prejudice
  • Jane Eyre
  • A Tale of Two Cities
  • The Brothers Karamazov
  • Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
  • War and Peace
  • Vanity Fair
  • The Time Traveler’s Wife
  • The Iliad
  • Emma
  • The Blind Assassin
  • The Kite Runner
  • Mrs. Dalloway
  • Great Expectations
  • American Gods
  • A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
  • Atlas Shrugged
  • Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books
  • Memoirs of a Geisha
  • Middlesex
  • Quicksilver
  • Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
  • The Canterbury Tales (I think I read all of it)
  • The Historian : a novel
  • A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
  • Love in the Time of Cholera
  • Brave New World
  • The Fountainhead
  • Foucault’s Pendulum
  • Middlemarch
  • Frankenstein
  • The Count of Monte Cristo
  • Dracula
  • A Clockwork Orange
  • Anansi Boys
  • The Once and Future King
  • The Grapes of Wrath
  • The Poisonwood Bible : a novel
  • 1984
  • Angels & Demons
  • The Inferno (and Purgatory and Paradise)
  • The Satanic Verses
  • Sense and Sensibility
  • The Picture of Dorian Gray
  • Mansfield Park
  • One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
  • To the Lighthouse
  • Tess of the D’Urbervilles
  • Oliver Twist
  • Gulliver’s Travels
  • Les Misérables
  • The Corrections
  • The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
  • The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
  • Dune
  • The Prince
  • The Sound and the Fury
  • Angela’s Ashes : a memoir
  • The God of Small Things
  • A People’s History of the United States : 1492-present
  • Cryptonomicon
  • Neverwhere
  • A Confederacy of Dunces
  • A Short History of Nearly Everything
  • Dubliners
  • The Unbearable Lightness of Being
  • Beloved
  • Slaughterhouse-five
  • The Scarlet Letter
  • Eats, Shoots & Leaves
  • The Mists of Avalon
  • Oryx and Crake : a novel
  • Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
  • Cloud Atlas
  • The Confusion
  • Lolita
  • Persuasion
  • Northanger Abbey
  • The Catcher in the Rye
  • On the Road
  • The Hunchback of Notre Dame
  • Freakonomics : a rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything
  • Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an inquiry into values
  • The Aeneid
  • Watership Down
  • Gravity’s Rainbow
  • The Hobbit
  • In Cold Blood : a true account of a multiple murder and its consequences
  • White Teeth
  • Treasure Island
  • David Copperfield
  • The Three Musketeers