Johannes Schult

This is actually the song I made for the second round of Song Fu #6 (listen and vote!). The task was to write a song that doesn’t contain any rhymes. Years ago I had written a song in German entitled “Morgen kommt der Kommunikationsentferner”. I reanimated the lyrical idea and translated a few of the original lines into English. The chords of the verse also remained the same. Still, I think it became a completely different song. For instance, it used to be a ballad; now it’s a rock song.

The song fu-version of this song (entitled “Communication Removal”) is 45 seconds longer; it contains more instrumental mayhem as well as an additional line about Mike Lombardo and Nickelback. I had originally planned to have a chorus going “And as of now my rhymes are out of order”, but that didn’t fit the rest of the song, so I scrapped it.

Some trivia: For the music box in the outro I punched arbitrary holes into a sheet of paper and pulled it through the little machine. Other instruments I recorded for the outro were ukulele, harmonica, melodica and tin whistle.

#8 Communication Removal Is Due Tomorrow

I just shut down the weather
Love doesn’t work anymore
Communication removal is due tomorrow

The shadows no longer obey the sun
All seasons are in exile
Communication removal is due tomorrow

Yesterday I made silence a little bit louder
And now I’ll turn off time
Communication removal is due tomorrow

I successfully divided by zero

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

This is another example of why I like the 52-second format: If this lonely hearts ad was any longer, people would actually start taking it seriously. I was somewhat uncertain about the exact wording, the organ in the background and the main chord sequence (D G E A was in there at one point). But I think, the song works in its present form (p < 0.05). The concept of the song was inspired by an old statistics lecture that featured remarks about Love@Lycos, matching algorithms and bootstrapping.

#7 Lonely Hearts Ad (Bootstrapping)

I’m looking for a woman who is capable of bootstrapping, yeah
I don’t care if she’s tall or thin or if her hair is red

It’s good for a romantic relationship to be based on common interests, yeah
Even though I’m the first to admit that bootstrapping’s uncommon

This statistical procedure
Is an important feature
Of our future late-night conversations

I’m looking for a woman who is capable of bootstrapping, yeah
If we can figure out bootstrapping we can figure out everything else

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

I just recorded a video of me playing the song at home:

This one was written on the spot today after I had decided that the song I had prepared during the week will only be released at the very end as song #52. Last night I saw the Dubliners live in St. Gallen. (They played a wonderful show including favourites of mine like “The Rocky Road to Dublin” and “The Town I Loved So Well”.) So I was in the mood for some Irish folk. Please excuse the cheap keyboard sounds. Just keep in mind that me playing a real fiddle would have sounded much worse! Anyway, it’s just a 52-second tune, so please bear with me and my artificial orchestra. (The guitar is real.)

#6 Jutze’s Jig

This one was inspired by Self-discipline gives girls the edge: Gender in self-discipline, grades, and achievement test scores (Duckworth & Seligman, 2006). I had the title in mind while I was writing the chorus. Once I had the whole song, I figured I could just write some lyrics about the actual article. A 52-second song certainly cannot do a whole scientific paper justice. But maybe it’s entertaining; and maybe it spreads a tiny bit of knowledge from academia into rock music.

#5 Gives Girls the Edge

Gotta do, gotta do her homework
Gotta do, gotta do her job
Gotta pay, gotta pay attention
Gotta pay, gotta pay her bills
It seems there is one thing, one thing that
Gives girls the edge
Gives girls the edge
Gives girls the edge
Gives girls the edge
Self-discipline gives girls the edge

It seems that boys don’t have the one thing that
Gives girls the edge
Gives girls the edge
Gives girls the edge
Gives girls the edge
Self-discipline gives girls the edge

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

This one was inspired by Paul and Storm as well as Tim Minchin. It took me some time to shorten it to the appropriate length. Who needs middle parts, anyway? I can imagine this one a little bit slower with a Beatles-vibe, especially if I were to add drums. My current recording is raw, just the keyboard and the vocals, all in one take, using one microphone. Thus, also no stereo mix this time. I had wanted to write a chorus that is more subtle, more like “Let’s pretend it’s there, even though we know better” or something like that. But it’s Sunday already and my initial song idea still has no lyrics. The video below shows me recording the track. Nothing spectacular, just the 37th take, give or take a few.

#4 Your Love Is Like a Serving of Fries That’s Too Large

Your love is like a serving of fries that’s too large
Your love is like King Henry’s seventh wife
Your love is like a useful guidance counsellor
Your love is like the afterlife
It doesn’t exist
It doesn’t exist
I looked everywhere
Around the world
It’s just not there
Life ain’t fair

Your love is like good plot ideas in Episode I
Your love is like weapons of mass destruction in Iraq
Your love is like the holy father and his son
Your love is like the rhyming end of this line, yeah
It doesn’t exist
It doesn’t exist
I looked everywhere
Even under your chair
It’s just not there
Life ain’t fair

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

This is actually the first 52-second piece of music I wrote specifically for this collection. I stumbled over the first few notes on my keyboard. Eventually, I continued the idea on the acoustic guitar. I added a second track with just the chords. Still, the composition might well work in a film as background music. The title is somewhat arbitrary. But hopefully it conveys the atmosphere.

#3 Castle Ruins in November

Zum Glück hatte ich meine Karte vorab online bestellt und so einen Platz in der zweiten Reihe (von vorne ebenso wie von hinten) Mitte bekommen. Das Konzert fand im Plattenladen The Record Collector statt, wo etwa 45 Klappstühle sowie weiter hinten noch ein paar Stehplätze. Zuerst galt es das Vorprogramm zu überstehen. Erin Hill zupfte auf faszinierende Weise auf ihrer Harfe herum und sang mal schön, mal opernhaft. Einer der keltischen Folksongs klang sogar ziemlich gut. Ansonsten gab es anfangs reichlich Cover-Songs, ehe sie in der zweiten Hälfte “psychedelic scifi erin hill songs” spielte. Ich war froh über meinen Mountain Dew-Konsum, weil die Mucke viel zu abgefahren für mich klang. Als versöhnlichen Schluss gab es noch den Eröffnungssong der Fernsehserie Dollhouse (“What You Don’t Know”), den Hill zusammen mit Komponist Eric Bazilian vortrug.

Dann hieß es: Bühne frei für Eric, Cliff und Dave! Das Trio stieg mit einem neuen, recht rohen Rocksong ein, der bereits deutlich machte, wohin die musikalische Reise gehen würde. Die Musiker waren zum Greifen nah und ich habe erstmals bei einem Gig einen (1) Ohrstöpsel verwendet, weil das Schlagzeug auf der (von mir aus) rechten Seite einfach zu laut war. Trotz Bestuhlung und gemütlicher Atmosphäre rockten die drei Musiker durch Erics erstes Soloalbum “The Optimist” (wie angekündigt). Das im Laufe von fünf Jahren entstandene Werk wirkte so wesentlich homogener und lebhafter. Eric sah man zwar noch die Reste einer Erkältung an, doch musikalisch war alles bestens. Meine Lieblingslieder der CD waren auch live meine Favoriten (“Hopelessly, Relentlessly”, “Until You Dare”, “U.G.L.Y.”, “Be My Woman”). Zwischendurch gab es neben zahlreichen Anektdoten auch noch spontan die Ursprungsversion von “U.G.L.Y.” und von den Beatles “Do You Want to Know a Secret”. Da Eric und Dave erst wenige Tage vorher mit Proben begonnen und beschlossen hatten, einen Bassisten ins Boot zu holen, war die Show geprägt von Lockerheit. Besonders bei “The Optimist” war das Textchaos herrlich mitanzusehen. Am Ende kam auch noch das berüchtigte “One of Us”-Demo zum Zug. Im Anschluss hatte ich noch das Vergnügen, mich mit amerikanischen Fans, die ich sonst nur von Twitter und E-Mails kannte, über das dortige Fandasein zu unterhalten. Auch amüsant: Eric meinte, John Lilley habe ihm gesagt, er hätte auf Twitter gesehen, dass ich aus Deutschland zum Konzert angereist käme. Tja, ich muss sagen, es war schon ein tolles Erlebnis, mal etwas anderes als “Johnny B”, “All You Zombies” und “Noch ein Lied?” zu hören, zumal die Trio-Besetzung und die intime Atmosphäre dem Ganzen das Sahnehäubchen aufsetzten.

(Bild von meiner Kamera kommt noch; Bild aus der letzten Reihe bei Twitpic)

1. New Song
2. Driving in England
3. Until You Dare
4. Gemini Yo-Yo
5. Bye Bye Baby
6. U.G.L.Y.
7. U.G.L.Y. (original version)
8. When I Was the Man
9. Kid From Outer Space
10. Do You Want to Know a Secret
11. Be My Woman
12. Fiddlesticks
13. Hopelessly, Relentlessly
14. Mind Going Down
15. The Optimist
16. One of Us

This little song was originally written for Manticess as a contender for the recent Song Fu challenge ‘write a song with a number as a song title’. We ditched the song, however, and went on to produce “1998”. One of my aims with the 52 project is to improve (or at least to maintain) my playing skills. I figured that most of my faster songs sound better when I force myself to play them faster than I’d imagined them in the first place. The original demo of this particular song here was 20 seconds too long. Maybe it feels a bit hurried now, but hey, another aim is to not bore the listener with seemingly infinite tracks!

Someone who heard the song instantly remarked that the lyrics are clearly about absinthe. Now I have never tasted that green drink and didn’t think of it while writing the song. But hey, now it’s a song about absinthe. And yes, I promise that there will be more impressive lyrics and more elaborate song structures in this series. But you’ve got to allow for a little la-na-na song every now and then.

#2 Seven Green Fairies

Seven green fairies call me on the phone
Seven green fairies won’t leave me alone
Seven green fairies call me every day
Seven green fairies won’t go away
Singing la na na na ooho
Me and my seven green fairies

Seven green fairies are with me in my sleep
Seven green fairies seven days a week
Seven green fairies are with me when I drink
Making me say stupid things
Singing la na na na ooho
Me and my seven green fairies

Seven green fairies are messing with my hair
Seven green fairies pretend they’re not there
Seven green fairies with seven different names
Yet to me they’re all the same
Singing la na na na ooho
Me and my seven green fairies

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

This is the theme song/instrumental introduction/stadium gig opener I always wanted to have. I stumbled across the word ‘bonkers’ in a dictionary years ago and immediately filed it under ‘perfect title for future theme song/intro/opener’. I kept this recording short, but the song can be extended with multiple solo spots if I ever get the chance to perform it live.

#1 Bonkers

• Kurt Vonnegut: Cat’s Cradle
• John Green: An Abundance of Katherines
• John Green: Looking for Alaska
• Suzanne Collins: The Hunger Games
• Dodie Smith: I Capture the Castle
• Roger Williams: The Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect
• Trevor G. Bond & Christine M. Fox: Applying the Rasch Model: Fundamental Measurement in the Human Sciences
• Scott Westerfeld: Uglies
• Sven Plöger: Gute Aussichten für morgen
• Henry David Thoreau: Walden
• Mike Oldfield: Changeling
• Raymond Chandler: The Lady in the Lake
• Scott Westerfeld: Pretties
• Suzanne Collins: Catching Fire
• Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Smith: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
• Scott Westerfeld: Specials
• Eckart von Hirschhausen: Die Leber wächst mit ihren Aufgaben
• Edward R. Tufte: The Cognitive Style of PowerPoint: Pitching out Corrupts within
• Ayn Rand: Three Plays
• Oscar Wilde: Lady Windermere’s Fan
• Henryk M. Broder: Hurra, wir kapitulieren!
• John Green: Paper Towns
• Vince Ebert: Denken Sie selbst! Sonst tun es andere für Sie
• Dave Eggers: Weit gegangen
• Elisabeth Kabatek: Laugenweckle zum Frühstück

Habe ich dieses Jahr wirklich nichts von Terry Pratchett gelesen? Das schreit nach einem Vorsatz für 2010! Erst einmal werde ich aber wohl die fünf, sechs Bücher fertiglesen, die sich hier angefangen türmen (Gibt es intelligentes Leben?, The Greatest Show on Earth, Kritik der reinen Toleranz, Nothing for Ungood, Eine Geschichte von Liebe und Finsternis, American Gods usw.). Literarische Höhepunkte für mich waren 2009 eindeutig die beiden Hunger Games-Bücher sowie Paper Towns. Meine Lieblingsalben kamen von Richard Shindell und den Ninja Dolls.