Johannes Schult

This is my entry for the SpinTunes song writing contest (#3, Round 1). The challenge was to write a happy song about death. Happy songs are hard to write. Happy songs about death inevitably turn out ridiculous or super-scary – at least when I write them. I wrote “I Love the Dead” with Christopher Walken’s character from Plots with a View in mind. I also made a little video.

Jutze – I Love the Dead

I love the dead – strictly vocationally
I love the dead – I bury them professionally
So far none of them came back to complain

I’m just a happy undertaker – I aim to please
I’m making sure you’ll get the perfect grave to rest in peace
Sometimes I feel a little bit misunderstood
Because death is my business – and business is good
I love the dead – strictly vocationally
I love the dead – I bury them professionally

This funeral home is the place I call home
And with the graveyard next door I never feel alone
I love the dead – strictly vocationally
I love the dead – I bury them professionally
So far none of them came back to complain

I don’t mean to offend – I just really like my job
I take care of the bodies before they start to rot
I can give you silence – I can give you thunder
Either way you’ll end up six feet under
I love the dead – strictly vocationally
I love the dead – I bury them professionally
I love the dead – strictly vocationally
I love the dead – I bury them professionally
This is the grave digger’s delight

(words and music by Johannes Schult / 2011 Creative Commons by-nc)

This song nearly didn’t happen. I had written the first two verses months ago and was somehow unsatisfied and/or hit a heavy writer’s block. Cleaning up some piles of paper on my desk today I discovered the page with the words. This time around I liked the lyrics better and immediately filled in the missing parts. Once the music was written I didn’t even have to readjust the tempo, something I almost always have to do to meet the 52-second deadline. And I even managed to throw in a harmonica bit at the end!

Oh, yes: video.

#44 Questions

Who made your clothes and who wrote the Bible?
And what’s the story of the food on your table?
These are the important questions
We have to answer them every day

Where does the money go that you spend on fuel?
Where does the power come from that makes your AC cool?
These are the important questions
We have to answer them every day

Did you smile a lot today?
And when was the last time you were in love?

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

This one was inspired by Paul and Storm as well as Tim Minchin. It took me some time to shorten it to the appropriate length. Who needs middle parts, anyway? I can imagine this one a little bit slower with a Beatles-vibe, especially if I were to add drums. My current recording is raw, just the keyboard and the vocals, all in one take, using one microphone. Thus, also no stereo mix this time. I had wanted to write a chorus that is more subtle, more like “Let’s pretend it’s there, even though we know better” or something like that. But it’s Sunday already and my initial song idea still has no lyrics. The video below shows me recording the track. Nothing spectacular, just the 37th take, give or take a few.

#4 Your Love Is Like a Serving of Fries That’s Too Large

Your love is like a serving of fries that’s too large
Your love is like King Henry’s seventh wife
Your love is like a useful guidance counsellor
Your love is like the afterlife
It doesn’t exist
It doesn’t exist
I looked everywhere
Around the world
It’s just not there
Life ain’t fair

Your love is like good plot ideas in Episode I
Your love is like weapons of mass destruction in Iraq
Your love is like the holy father and his son
Your love is like the rhyming end of this line, yeah
It doesn’t exist
It doesn’t exist
I looked everywhere
Even under your chair
It’s just not there
Life ain’t fair

(words and music by Johannes Schult)