Johannes Schult

This is a perfect example for songs produced under pressure. I wrote the song last weekend. It’s a little bit absurd. The recording became much more absurd because my external sound card stopped working. I just recorded the vocals in a hotel room in Hamburg, whispering into my laptop’s built-in microphone. Unfortunately (?), I won’t have time to improve the vocals over the next few days, so I’ll just put this tune out there.

#8 Milk

Honey, I’m home and I had a hard night
I know I should have called but I’m not feeling all right
A had some tequila and several beers
A bottle of whisky I drank with my peers

Now there is no reason for you to raise hell
Because in an hour or two I won’t be feeling too well
But from tomorrow on I will be a better man
No, I won’t make the same mistakes again
So I will drink a glass of milk
And if that is not enough
I’ll have another glass of milk
And I won’t need to pretend I’m tough
I will drink a glass of milk
And if that is not enough
I’ll have another glass of milk
And I’ll be home in time, my love

(words and music by Johannes Schult 2015 Creative Commons by-nc 4.0)

This is me experimenting with my new travel MIDI keyboard. It’s a filler if you ask me. Not an unpleasant one, mind you. It might provide a short, quiet intermission. I don’t know. The title was attached as an afterthought given the character of the harmony and the science fiction books I recently read. Hopefully I can add a video, soon. Again, it’s not going to be anything fancy.

#7 Alone in Space

(words and music by Johannes Schult 2015 Creative Commons by-nc 4.0)

Noch ein Lied zum Thema Körperwechsel. Dabei entstand dieses Lied vor “Being Edric Haleen”.

#6 Glück

Zum Glück bin ich nicht Hannes Wader
Zum Glück bin ich nicht Reinhard Mey
Sonst müsste ich jetzt 13 Strophen schreiben
Und die müssten sich auch alle ganz toll reimen
Zum Glück bin ich nicht Bob Dylan
Sonst müsste ich jetzt nuscheln und Harmonika spielen

Zum Glück bin ich nicht Hannes Wader
Zum Glück bin ich Johannes Schult
(words and music by Johannes Schult 2015 Creative Commons by-nc 4.0)

From time to time I return to the place where I recorded the “Toilet Song“- as you can see in the video. While I have a bathroom affinity, I’m usually eager to keep my lyrics clean. Sort of. Consequently, “Finally Home” can be considered radio-friendly. Not that they play my songs on the radio. Once I had the idea for this song, it basically wrote itself.

#5 Finally Home

The last ten miles of the ride had been hell
But now I’ve finally arrived
There are many stories I must tell
But first I have to take a dump or else I won’t survive

Finally I can go to the bathroom
Finally I can let the tension go
I was afraid I was gonna burst
But now I can let go

Finally I can go to the bathroom
Finally I can let the tension go
I was afraid I was gonna burst
But now I’m finally home

(words and music by Johannes Schult 2015 Creative Commons by-nc 4.0)

This instrumental had the working title “Week #4”. Very creative, I know. Even after recording (and filming) the tune it lacked a title. So I forced “A Walk in the Wilderness” upon it. Go figure.

#4 A Walk in the Wilderness

(words and music by Johannes Schult 2015 Creative Commons by-nc 4.0)

Eigentlich wollte ich das Lied so simpel aufnehmen, wie ich es im Video spiele. Aber am Ende habe ich dann doch E-Gitarren (gedoppelt), Akustik-Gitarren (gedoppelt), Bass, Rassel und drei Gesangsspuren aufgenommen – immerhin ohne Klick.

#3 79 Jahre

Sie war erst 79 Jahre alt
Wenn du weißt, was ich mein’, oho
Und der Blick in ihren Augen ließ mich nicht kalt
Wenn du weißt, was ich mein’, oho
79 Jahre
79 Jahre

Hinter ihrem Panzer waren Gefühle versteckt
Wenn du weißt, was ich mein’, oho
Und schon wenig später haben wir uns abgeschleckt
Wenn du weißt, was ich mein’, oho
79 Jahre
79 Jahre
Schildkrötenliebe
Schiildkrötenliebe

(words and music by Johannes Schult 2015 Creative Commons by-nc 4.0)

This is a jolly punk rock song, nothing more, nothing less. The video contains further trivia (no black skirts, though – sorry).

#2 Black Skirt Girl

I saw you at the basement show
On a Saturday night two months ago
And now I’m surprised to meet you again
In this record shop I visit every now and then
And I think I should warn you
‘Cause the record you hold in your beautiful hands is crap

Then suddenly you look up at me
Saying this one sucks, pointing at the CD
And you say you’re surprised to see me again
In this record shop in which your romance with rock once began
And you give me a smile, yeah
And I give you a smile in return and I say “Rock on!”

(words and music by Johannes Schult 2015 Creative Commons by-nc 4.0)

“Unquestionably the funniest song you will ever hear about THE FAULT IN OUR STARS.” –John Green

This ain’t a book about a ballet dancer
No, it’s a book about a book about cancer
But there is something that is more important
This book mentions Natalie Portman
In 3 out of 25 chapters – I think she’s pretty scarce
That’s the fault in “The Fault in Our Stars”
Yeah that’s the fault in “The Fault in Our Stars”

If you do the math then you will see
22 chapters without Natalie
The ones that mention her are way too short, man!
John Green should have added way more Portman
It wouldn’t have been as difficult as landing a rover on Mars
That’s the fault in “The Fault in Our Stars”
Yeah that’s the fault in “The Fault in Our Stars”

At least the book doesn’t end in the middle of

Continue reading ‘The Fault in The Fault in Our Stars’ »

Last Friday I played here in Konstanz at the Rheintorturm. Thomas and Suff-X played as well. It was a lot of fun. Here’s a first video from that evening, “Omas Weihnachtsessen” – a Paul and Storm cover.

My setlist ended up looking like this:

1. Die wichtigen Fragen
2. Einkaufszettel
3. Konrad
4. Die Müllabfuhr der Seele
5. Toilet Song
6. A Mallful of Brains
7. Omas Weihnachtsessen
8. Reis
9. I Wish Natalie Portman Was my Neighbour
10. Der Speckgürtel von Paderborn

Diesen Donnerstag (10. November) spiele ich im Kulturladen Konstanz im Vorprogramm von Phrasenmäher einen Solo-Auftritt. Kommt alle!

Ich werde überwiegend 52-Sekunden-Lieder spielen. Hier ist eines davon: “Konrad”