{"id":439,"date":"2009-05-25T23:24:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-25T22:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jutze.com\/?p=439"},"modified":"2009-05-25T23:33:35","modified_gmt":"2009-05-25T22:33:35","slug":"natalie-portmans-doormat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jutze.com\/?p=439","title":{"rendered":"Natalie Portman’s Doormat"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is my attempt to “write a song from the perspective of an inanimate object” a.k.a. my first entry for the Masters of Song Fu #4 Challenge<\/a>. Please check out at least some of the other folks. A zip-file containing all songs of this round is available below the individual profiles for your convenience (store). So far I’ve listened to Jarrett Heather<\/a>‘s TMBG<\/a>-ish tune and Steve Chatterton<\/a>‘s edgy uptempo song – both really good! So please listen before you vote.<\/p>\n

This being said, I’m quite happy with how my song turned out as it sounds almost serious. (Almost.) I suggest you listen to the recorded version of Natalie Portman’s Doormat<\/a> first, before watching the somewhat rough live version on YouTube<\/a> (with a bonus line):<\/p>\n

<\/object><\/p>\n

I recorded the song on Sunday eight days ago. It’s just vocals and acoustic guitar this time around. I had the title immediately after challenge was announced. It’s funny that Jeremy Pierson ended up with a similar idea (am listening while typing). It’s also funny that eight years ago someone already put the words “Natalie Portman’s Doormat” online<\/a>, albeit less literally intended. Disclaimer: my lyrics are a subjective interpretation of reality. All I know for sure is that Natalie Portman and Zach Braff made a<\/a> movie<\/a> together and that she recently moved to a new place. If you’re her doormat, I hope you’re not offended by the liberties I’ve taken for the sake of art. The last couple of lines were inspired by Mr. Gordon’s JoCoFo-post<\/a>, giving the song what I think is a neat closure.<\/p>\n

Download the song: mp3<\/a> ogg<\/a> (more music<\/a>)<\/p>\n

I’m already old and torn
\nI’m battered and I’m worn
\nMy time will soon be up
\nAll her stuff has been packed
\nThis time she won’t come back
\nAnd I will be left behind
\nAlthough I have been down a lot and almost never up
\nI’ve always been here on this spot, happy with what I got
\nI have done things you’ll never do
\nZach Braff won’t slip on you on a frosty day
\nI have felt things you’ll never feel
\nThe touch of vegan heels on a sunny day<\/strong><\/p>\n

I sometimes kept her key
\nShe knows it’s safe with me
\nStill, she doesn’t even know my name
\nShe never talked to me
\nShe kicked me with her feet
\nTo me it’s all the same
\nI’m really quite content with the non-life that I had
\nMaybe I will be reborn, hopefully as her bed
\nI have known things you’ll never know
\nLike angels in the snow on a winter day
\nI have seen things you’ll never see
\nWhen she stood over me that sunny day<\/strong><\/p>\n

I waited for her every time she came home late at night
\nI caught her tears when her dog Charlie died
\nI have done things you’ll never do
\nThe rain won’t stay with you on a cloudy day
\nI have seen things you’ll never see
\nWhen she stood over me that sunny day<\/strong><\/p>\n

(words and music by Johannes Schult)<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is my attempt to “write a song from the perspective of an inanimate object” a.k.a. my first entry for the Masters of Song Fu #4 Challenge. Please check out at least some of the other folks. A zip-file containing all songs of this round is available below the individual profiles for your convenience (store). […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-439","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-music"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jutze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/439","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jutze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jutze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jutze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jutze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=439"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.jutze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/439\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":444,"href":"https:\/\/www.jutze.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/439\/revisions\/444"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jutze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=439"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jutze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=439"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jutze.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=439"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}