Johannes Schult

This song was inspired by the season finale of Community. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you that Community is totally awesome. If you’ve seen the last episode this song will make perfectly sense to you. If not, well, go watch Community!

I recorded this song in two takes with my digicam. It’s the last one I recorded while waiting for my new computer, so next week’s track will have a better production. As for future Community fan songs, I just had the idea to write a heavy metal meets glee homage to the episode “Modern Warfare”…

#37 Team Slater

No left-wing tendencies, a firm grip on life
A grown-up character, math power +5
Statistical knowledge along with a steady income
Attractive looks and then some
Go Slater, go! I’m on Team Slater
Go Slater, go! Winger plus Slater
Go Slater, go!

She’s the one who’s serious; she’s overcome her fear
She’s very much experienced – the decision should be clear
Go Slater, go! I’m on Team Slater
Go Slater, go! Bring Conan back
Team Slater

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

This is a nod to my dark progressive country roots. And to Old McBiddy, who’s living happily on his farm in Scotland. (O hai, video!)

#35 Old McBiddy’s Wedding

People came from far to see Old McBiddy’s wedding
Gather in the churchyard to celebrate the day
Oh what a joy it’s going to be: Old McBiddy’s wedding
So when he says, I do, the crowd shouts out, hooray!
Now we’re going to celebrate Old McBiddy’s wedding
Hurry boys, do not be late and let the music play

Watch the people as they dance at Old McBiddy’s wedding
Meanwhile Uncle Parker is getting drunk on wine
Come on folks, raise your hands at Old McBiddy’s wedding
Toast to the happy couple and their love divine

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

This little tune was written and recorded at an unlikely location: the camping ground of this year’s Headbangers Open Air. I had planned to record more tracks back home. But once I had come up with the melody I liked the sparse sound of the glockenspiel. I recorded the song with my digicam inside the car. I had to close the windows because the first band of the day was already on stage, thrashing away. It got quite hot. So for me it’s surprising how the track sounds nothing like the circumstances under which it came into being.

#33 Regentropfen im Nordwind

This is a song about F-sharp minor (as seen in Hank’s video around 2:25). If you don’t know who Hank Green is, check out his music at DFTBA Records.

“Hank Green Learned a New Chord” is yet another example for songs I hadn’t written without the 52-second constraint (and the need for brief song lyrics associated with it). Once again I had to record everything with my digicam, hence the bad sound. On the bright sight, you can watch me playing/recording the song.

#32 Hank Green Learned a New Chord

It was Wednesday the 21st
Hank played a tune on his guitar
There on the vlogbrothers channel
I almost couldn’t believe what I saw
It was like an epiphany
Though the part was rather short
It was plain for all to see
Hank Green learned a new chord

Until that day I had always thought
That Hank was a Horcrux of punk
A way to keep the lore of the three chord songs
Safe from boy-groups and funk
It was like an epiphany
Though the part was rather short
It was plain for all to see
Hank Green learned a new chord

Is he about to make the transition from wizard rock
To Slytherin Jazz for the Dark Lord?
Hank Green learned a new chord

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

This is the result of my overexposure to Star Wars. In a post-“Return of the Jedi” world I can imagine guided tourist tours over the Endor battlefield. Who needs Gettysburg when you can stroll through the ruins of the shield generator? Speeder bikes available for extra charge. Yet, given the vast green forests on Endor it must be raining rather often.

The lyrical idea and the main melody lay around for a while until I figured I’d use my digicam to capture me recording the individual parts. I completed the lyrics in a hurry, scrapping my otherwise favourite line “Like a rainy day on Endor with no fur to keep you warm”. The audio tracks are actually those from the camera, so please excuse the crappy quality. You can see excerpts from all five tracks in the video.

#31 Rainy Day

Now I’ve finally reached my aim
But it really ain’t the same
Without you by my side
Feels like a rainy day on Endor
Feels like a rainy day on Endor

I can’t enjoy my victory
Because I was too blind to see
Just what you meant to me
Feels like a rainy day on Endor
Feels like a rainy day on Endor

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

This song is rather weird.

#30 Der Speckgürtel von Paderborn

Ein schwarzer VW-Bus hielt vor meinem Haus
Und eh ich mich versah, stiegen schwarze Leute aus
Der erste Vermummte hatte ein Gewehr
Er legte an und schoss und mein Körper wurde schwer
Getroffen!

Der zweite Vermummte griff nach meinem Bein
Und zu zweit hievten sie mich dann in den Bus hinein
Ich verlor das Bewusstsein wie in einem schlechten Traum
Und ich wachte wieder auf in einem fensterlosen Raum
Gefangen!

Dann kam ein Mann im weißen Kittel mit Blutflecken drauf
Er zerrte mich nach nebenan; ich stolperte im Lauf
Ich kann nur schwer beschreiben, was daraufhin geschah
Man zwickte und massierte mich und spielte danach Skat

Man schnürte mich auf Rollschuh und man drehte mich im Kreis
Man kniff mich in mein Ohrläppchen und fragte, wie ich heiß
So ging das viele Stunden und ich war total verwirrt
Ich konnte nicht entfliehen; ich war allein und sie zu viert
Gefangen!

Ich kann mich nicht erinnern, doch plötzlich war es aus
Und müde lag ich auf dem Rasen hier vor meinem Haus
Ich zitterte und fror und meine Kehle brannte
Und dann fiel mir wieder ein, wie der Ort sich nannte
Speckgürtel von Paderborn!

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

Der Katze ist’s egal.

This song is somewhat redundant. I mean, it’s about music I think is pretty redundant. I should rather sing about love, peace and understanding, I guess. But hey, it’s just a 52-second song! No big deal. At first, the lyrics were about politicians. But they don’t deserve such a generalization in my opinion. Fortunately, I started composing my songs at least one day before I record them. So I can still make changes and adjust whatever didn’t work out the first time around.

PS: Look, I made a video to this song!

PPS: Look, I also made a video for last week’s song, “Laundry Day”!

PPPS: I’m actually halfway through this endeavour, hooray! Only 26 more songs left to create.

#26 Department of Redundancy Department

When I turn on the radio
When I turn on the TV
The singers from all those casting shows
Are all I see
Send them to the department of redundancy department
Send them to the department of redundancy department

It was boring the first time around
And it didn’t get better
The plastic faces with their prefab sound
They get more all the time yet they all sound the same
Send them to the department of redundancy department
Send them there or shoot them to the moon

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

This one was inspired by NealMorse.com. I had a hard time to come up with the lyrics because there are so many things you might want to bring along “just in case”. Once I had the lyrics written I struggled finding the appropriate musical style. Polka? Country? Pop? In the end I went with a some kind of contrast: quiet chords versus monkey lyrics. Go figure. (Oh yeah, I filmed myself when I recorded the track.)

#23 Do You Have a Spare Monkey?

There are some things that you never know
When you’re going to need them
Like if you see ducks in Idaho
What are you going to feed them
Yeah sometimes it takes more than a towel
So better be prepared

So get ready while you can
And learn the words to “Mandy”
And you never know just when
A flamethrower might come in handy
Yeah sometimes it takes more than a towel
So better be prepared

Do you have a spare monkey?

(words and music by Johannes Schult)

This is yet another instrumental piece. It’s merely a quick combination of chords and notes. But then again, most songs are. I took the chance to play on the piano, even though I only had my digital camera to record the audio. So the sound is crappy, but you can watch me playing. I wrote and recorded the track last Sunday, after two days of heavy metal at the Keep It True festival. Please excuse minor timing problems. After all, I had to guess the tempo in order to make the song 52 seconds long. So I did have a slightly better version recorded, but it was a couple of seconds too long. The version you hear here is actually has a bit a silence appended at the end to make it long enough. I know that’s cheating, but I rather have it like this than with the additional noises you can hear on the video (which does reach the 52-second mark).

#18 The Time We’ve Lost